Shrinks!  Why is it that a visit to one of them is never what you expect it to be?  Yes, it was like the Grand Illusion.  I was told by SSA that I was being sent to be evaluated for PTSD, Depression and Anxiety and was really weary of going thru a session, having to bring alot of old memories and issues back to the surface again.  I did all of that worrying for nothing because I am not sure what information the doc got from our session, but we only discussed my "issues" briefly, barely scratching the surface of the causes for my depression, anxiety and PTSD.  In an hour and a half long session I mostly repeated words and phrases back to her and sets of numbers frontwards and backwards.  I know, HUH?!? 

My appointment was early so I got up at 0630 and was ontime, (for once).  It was cold and the wind cut rught through me and I had to park a good three hundred yards from the entrance of the building.  The combination of having to be out and about so early and the cold sent my muscles into spasms and I was so stiff that I had a difficult time making it to the third floor, where the doc's office was located.  By the time I got into her office I was disoriented and shaky.  I have to admit though she was nice and had a welcoming attitude and I soon was (almost) relaxed and not as weary as I had been.  Our session began and was basically just my answering a series of questions, repeating words and phrases and doing simple math.  By the time it was over I had a pounding migraine from conentrating so hard and was tense and frustrated that the appointment, in my view, had not addressed the issues it was supposed to.  Even though I struggled to find my words and get them out throughout the interview, I felt I had managed to do better than I was supposed to in order to validate my claim to the SSA.   I had found myself trying to do as well as I could, rather than failing miserably, which is what I needed to do in order to get my claim approved.  I think I blew it but who knows?  I don't even understand how the session even gave them the info they needed.  When it was over she gave me no indication as to what her report to SSA would indicate; whether she supported my claim or not...just said I would get a notification from SSA and scooted me out the door.  Sigh.

...Just remember that it's a grand illusion...

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